Know Thyself

I just started classes again for my summer term. I am currently taking 2 for summer A, Philosophy and some computer class. I have to take these to bring up my GPA because my scholarship is slipping away, it was hard to stay focused during freshmen year.

Fortunately, I'm starting more of my film classes instead of general education courses, so hopefully my interest in what I'm learning will keep me in my books. This computer class seems like it will be a pain, but it shouldn't be too difficult to handle. I've never taken a philosophy class, so I wasn't too sure what to expect when I walked in class yesterday. Not only is it at 10 in the morning, which is early for me, but I have it Monday through Thursday. I have horrible attention issues, so for me to have to endure the same class for about an hour and half four days in a row, this experience wasn't something I was looking forward to. Pathetic, I know, I know.

BUT- Philosophy is so cool! The professor is a very interesting person, he uses cross examination every time a student answers a question. He teaches us about wisdom and knowledge and how important it is to know yourself, something I feel I still need to work on.

And another point I have always thought about, separating your mind and your heart. When I was young, I had always tried to escape emotions completely, and I feel like that has backfired and made me cold and heartless. Not that I'm a bitch, because I am very friendly and nice to everyone, whether they are rude or not, and I try my best not to talk behind anyone's back and I avoid drama to the best of my ability.

But still, I have felt sometimes that I am incapable of love because of years of hiding emotions and controlling feelings. I've never been in a serious relationship, and could never see myself in one nor cared to be in one. Yet as I'm growing up, I guess I'm just going through some sort of identity crises. Who knows.

Anyway, that's just my rant, I've got nothing much more interesting going on. Tonight, my friend and I are supposed to discuss and elaborate on a very interesting film idea that we have created. We make a great team, since I am a writer and a director, and he is extremely talented in the arts. A great painter with a very open mind, who's work deals with dark and mysterious creations. This should be a fun project.

I work again tomorrow night, so hopefully I'll report back with interesting news!

Goodbye/Hello

Yesterday, when the girls were talking about new hires, they said the managers welcomed so many newbies because they were firing the ones who got fat.

I can't imagine how that must feel for a girl to be in that position. There must have been quite a few of them too, because they hired at least 7. Having had an eating disorder since I was 15, I definitely got scared and uncomfortable when I heard this. Like there isn't enough pressure on girls nowadays to be thin. It's pretty depressing.

Day 2

Having the privacy and space of my own room to change into my outfit this time, I timed how long it took to put the entire costume on: 4 minutes. Not bad at all.

The panthose were easier to put on now, and I'm glad I listened to the girl who advised me on which to choose. We have a pantyhose vending machine at work, which I found rather funny, and we get to choose from two different types and whether they are footless or not. I got C footless. Whatever that is, it seems pretty good.

I was the only hostess when I arrived. One of the managers, the nicest one, told me to wait around my the door and greet people, we have to open doors for everyone coming in or out. He said that one of the other managers would come soon to train me. Well, for two hours and a half I stood by the door, occasionally seeting customers. Most of the time, the group of waitresses who had no tables and stood by my area took care of the guests. Boredom was an understatement of how I felt.

I didn't really talk to many of the girls. I don't judge anyone, but I can usually tell who I could be friends with. I don't think I'd get along that well with anyone of them. They seemed alright though, for the most part.

Two of the girls hired with me were there as well, though they were both training as servers. One was tall and skinny and wore a very strange shade of foundation that made her skin look almost green. I thought I was the only one who noticed this during the orientation, but as soon as she closed the door behind her and walked out today, the entire group of Winghouse servers pondered what was so off about her face.

In addition to the gossip, I heard the girls share stories of their crazy nights and what they had planned for that night.

I was glad when another hostess came and the manager told me I could leave. Two and a half hours, better than the 50 minutes I served yesterday.

I'll be back there tomorrow at 2, we'll see how that goes!

First Day!

Not what I expected, I was on the clock for exactly 50 minutes.

No, I didn't get sent away or fired, but apparently the hours suck and that's pretty normal. Let's start with the outfit.

I came about half an hour earlier and spent about 15 minutes putting that outfit on. I'm usually a size 4, but the shorts I stuffed my ass into were a size 1. I don't understand how everyone shoves those pantyhose on every morning. As a hostess, you wear a red polo and white shorts, the pantyhose, socks, and sketchers. After the torture of putting this outfit on, I looked in the mirror and the conclusion: it was cute!

(not me)

I met my trainer, we'll name her Apple. She was cute, really skinny, but not the typical Winghouse girl. First thing she says to me, "This job sucks."

Apparently, you get no hours and even though you are told you will become a server, you will remain a hostess forever. She's been a hostess for a long time, and though they promise her the new position, they just hired 5 newbies with no previous experience to be servers. I'm thinking I'm either never going to be a waitress, or I can just keep dreaming and pretend that they wanted to wait till all the other new kids are trained and then my training begins. Her advice, "Keep looking."

I got the hang of it pretty easily and I'm sure next time, assuming I work more than an hour, I will be able to do it on my own. Unfortunately, I can't do much with the 50 dollars she makes ever two weeks, so if I'm not seeing signs of a promotion, I will have to find a better job. The outfit's cute, but I've got bills to pay!

All the girls seemed okay. No one too friendly, but no one too bitchy either, except for the one girl that got mad when we seated too many people in her section. I guess that's something I'll have to get used to.

I met one of the regulars too. He stopped me and introduced himself. He seemed nice, so I was friendly. We only talked for a bit, the I returned to the hostess stand. A few minutes later, the same man walked out. Apple looked disgusted.

"Don't talk to him. All of the waitresses hide when he comes in."

"Why." He seemed nice to me.

"He got kicked out of hooters for jacking off under the table."

Ew.

I went to eat with Apple and then to the gas station after, and as soon as we open the doors, all eyes judge our outfits. She told me to get prepared, and that I'll get used to it. I don't get offended and I usually don't give a shit what people say, so I don't really care or notice the stares. Just find it funny.

PS: I haven't told my mom yet and am having mixed feelings about it. But after seeing the outfit, I doubt she'll care.

If anyone has questions or wants to talk, my email is LayneAubrey@yahoo.com. Hit me up!

Winghouse!

I am due to clock in for my first time as a Winghouse Hostess in 58 minutes.

My hair's done, make up perfect (kinda, I had some trouble with it this morning), and a pile of things I need to grab before I head out. I'm all prepared, hairspray, eyeliner, tongue ring retainer, which I still need to put in, everything is sitting in that little Juicy Cutoure purse I burrowed from my sister when I went back home. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a place that sold eyebrow ring retainers (the clear rings) so that's probably going to close by the end of my shift. Dammit.

Anyway, I'm probably going to get in the parking lot when I realize I forgot something really important. I hope not, I feel like I've got everything. Of course, I don't have my uniform yet but I'm supposed to get that today, so they say to show up a while earlier. I'll be there around 11: 30, the place is only about 10 minutes from where I live so I don't have to leave too soon.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty nervous. It's not my first job, but I hate first days and being a newbie and all that, it annoys be a lot so this should be fun. I'll just start taking on a different persona at work. I'm more laid back than cheerful so I'll just glue on a smile and say 'Hey!' to everyone I see. This should be fun, I wish I could take on another name at work

Alright I'll head back with details of my first shift. Right now I've got to go get into character!
Wish me luck!

Girly Tomboy

I haven't really done that much in the past few days except a bunch of errands I have piled up for myself. First, my sister and I spent Mother's Day back home and had a great time. It was great fun with the [huge] family, and I actually would have stayed there longer if my sister didn't have to come back for class.

Yesterday, I turned into a girl.

I've always been quite the tomboy, except the past few years I've been a girly tomboy. I keep the appearance of a chick but the emotions of a dude. My hair is always styled and make up done, and I'm pretty big in fashion, and I have about a million pairs of heels. Unfortunately, I rarely wear the heels because I've got no place to go with them, it'd be pretty awkward to wear them while going for a chill session with the guys.

Anyway, yesterday my sister and I got our nails done, it was only my second time so it's extremely awkward doing anything, especially typing, with them on. The first time I did them was for prom, which I had to get dragged to because I was still a big tomboy at the time. After the nail place, I got my sketchers for Winghouse. I'm usually a 7 and a 1/2 but I had to get a 7 this time because they didn't have my size, and an 8 was too big. So hopefully during my long shifts my feet won't fall off.

And then I went to Walgreens and spent 50 dollars on random beauty products. I'm tighter with my money than a broke old man, especially when I've been jobless for 8 months, so this was an extremely girly thing of me.

Oh, and I got this Sally Hansen Lip Inflation lip gloss, because I wanted gloss and I have virtually no upper lip. Surprisingly, it does work. But it burns!

Now I've got three more days of relaxation before work starts on Friday, and school starts on Monday. I found out I don't have to be drug tested at work unless I get injured, so this is going to be a very enjoyable three days.


By the way, I think I'm going to tell my mom about Winghouse. According to my sisters, I'm making too big of a deal and she won't care, especially since I'm only a hostess. I'll just suck up and do the 'door-in -face' strategy. I think that's what its called, I learned it in speech. I'll make it sounds like I'm pregnant or a prostitute, and then tell her I'm a hostess. This is going to be hilarious.

Winghouse Orientation

I just got home after about an hour and a half of paperwork and training. Here's how it went:

I got to Winghouse about ten minutes before 10, and there were already two other girls filling out papers. I joined them, and then two other girls showed up. They were all cute, seemingly energetic people that I was sure I'd get along with just fine. We were silent as we filled out the paperwork and then the manager played a corny training video. He went over our papers and the handbook, and told us all the basics we would need to know.

My first day will be this Friday, and I'm starting as a hostess so I'll probably wear the polo and shorts instead of the cute outfit, but whatever. I still have to buy shoes, but I've got a week so I'll be fine.

Tonight, I'm going to retry my trip home, this time with my sister and her car. I just got off the phone with my mom, and she said when I come home she wants to hear all about it... So I've got to start thinking of how this 'school job' is going to be. Help!